rose-colored glasses.

Grayson woke up this morning and his rash had spread from the top of his head to the bottom of his toes.  It was also itchy.  Then we went downstairs to let the boys out and he started sneezing.  On top of that, stubborn Andy had chewed up not only his chew toy in the crate, but also his blue harness.  Alex's blue harness.  I was devastated.  So devastated that I cried.  It was the only thing we kept of his that I truly cherished.  He wore it every day when we had him.  And then Grayson started sneezing some more and scratching his poor broken out face on my shoulder.  That's when the rose-colored glasses came off.

As much as I love those dogs, I was angry.  And I finally put together why Grayson has been sick all week.  Viral rashes aren't itchy.  What Grayson has obviously is.  Grayson also has had allergies off and on his whole life--eczema and a wool allergy from birth.

So, I called Brandon and told him I thought we needed to take the boys back.  As sad as I am, our boy comes first.  He always will.  When I got off the phone, I called Dr. Laughlin and they confirmed what I had thought.  Grayson has not had a 103 temp from a virus all week--he's allergic to the dogs.  I asked them why he hadn't had a reaction to my in-laws dogs or Carter's dogs and they said that it's probably because he's not around them 24/7 like he is with Andy & Emmett.  Or, it could be a breed-specific allergy, like my allergy to Boston Terriers.  How ridiculous I have been--I can't believe I didn't think about this before.

To my sweet, little boy, I'm sorry that you've been sick all week and it's my fault.  Maybe one day you will outgrow this allergy like you have the others and you will know the joy of pet ownership.  But just not now.

To Andy & Emmett, you were good boys... for the most part.  I'm sorry we couldn't love you forever, but our boy has to come first.  He is my boy.

To Brandon, I'm sorry we spent so much money on pets that we cannot keep.  I know you work really hard and really long hours to provide for us and I feel silly that we've wasted so much.  I hope you can forgive me.